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THE STORY I NEVER EXPECTED TO WRITE
I’ve always found solace in writing down my thoughts. And since these past few weeks have been some of the most challenging, emotional, and anxiety-ridden of my life, I felt called to share this. My hope is that it helps someone—maybe to listen to their gut, maybe to get checked early, or maybe just to feel less alone in their own battle.
It’s been five weeks since I was diagnosed with clear cell renal cell carcinoma aka kidney cancer, and to say my world was turned upside down is an understatement. So many sleepless nights. So much fear. And yet, as I sit here in my bed recovering, all I feel is overwhelming gratitude. My daughter calls it “gratitude tears.”
I’ve witnessed the very best in people—my friends, family, my Modern Honey family, even complete strangers. The countless acts of love and service — the home-cooked meals, the flowers, the thoughtful packages, the things to make recovery more bearable, the uplifting words, the simple check-ins—they’ve all meant more than I can ever express.
I’ve read every single text, email, and DM and cried through most of them. Y’all have been so kind to me. It’s hard to describe what it feels like to face something terrifying but not feel alone. I felt so supported and loved. I will never forget the people who showed up in my darkest days. Even the simplest text meant the world. THANK YOU.
This is me being vulnerable. And that’s a little scary. This is a story with twists and turns, I still can’t quite believe it all happened in five weeks—it feels like a year.
THE HAMSTER WHEEL
It started last year. I realized I was becoming a workaholic—something I used to joke about with my husband. But suddenly, I was the one who couldn’t get off the hamster wheel. There was always more to do, more to fix, more to create. I kept telling myself: Just get through Q4. After December, I’ll slow down. I promise.
But my body was whispering something else. It didn’t feel right. I’ve dealt with autoimmune issues before, so I know how to tune in to my body. And this… this felt different.
ONE GOAL
Every New Year, I normally set a long list of goals. This year, I made only one: focus on my health.
Make those doctor appointments I’d been putting off. Get another round of blood work. Something just felt… off.
So in January, I booked an appointment with an endocrinologist. I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and was due for a check-up. At that first visit, he felt a large nodule on my thyroid. He scheduled an ultrasound to take a closer look.
And that’s when everything started to change.
WHEN EVERYTHING SHIFTS
Around the same time, I came down with pneumonia. I was on antibiotics but still dealing with intense, persistent headaches for over six weeks. They were different than usual migraines—deep, frontal, unrelenting. With my dad’s history of strokes, I couldn’t ignore them.
I’d heard about a company called Prenuvo that offered full-body MRI scans. I’d previously had a localized scan for a shoulder tumor, but this was different—it would scan everything. It wasn’t covered by insurance, but I decided to do it anyway. Something in me said to go for it.
For someone claustrophobic, the MRI was intense. But I did it!
The next day, I had my thyroid ultrasound. The nodule was just shy of the size of a kiwi and resting on my food pipe. Concerned by its size and location, my doctor scheduled a biopsy. If it were malignant, I’d need surgery to remove the cancerous nodule and my thyroid. If it were benign, I’d still need an ablation to burn the nodule.
Cue the anxiety.
THE PHONE CALL THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
I was told the MRI results would be emailed unless something urgent came up. They’ll only call you if it’s serious, they said.
Then my phone rang.
My heart dropped when I saw the number.
“We found renal cell carcinoma,” the voice on the phone said.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew carcinoma wasn’t good. She explained it was a type of kidney cancer. I felt like the world stopped. I was in complete shock. I walked upstairs, told Dean, and then immediately opened my laptop to find an oncologist. I called a cancer center. The moment I said, “I have renal cell carcinoma,” my voice cracked, and the tears came.
I am pretty sure I was in complete denial that night. I reassured everyone I talked to that night. The hardest calls were to my kids and my Mom. Brutal.
THE REALITY
The oncologist reviewed my kidney scans online and immediately referred me to urology for surgery. The urologist looked at my scans and had more news — undetermined cysts had also been found on my liver and pancreas.
They scheduled a second MRI with contrast to check for metastasis (spreading to organs or lymph nodes). If it had spread to the nearby organs, it would be stage 4. I left the office, and it started raining—rare for Arizona. I drove in silence, tears streaming, and feeling a little stunned but resolute.
Was it only my kidney? Or was it everywhere? What about my thyroid? The cysts?
So many unknowns. So many appointments. A new test every day. Trying my very best to stay positive, to pray, and to hope for the best. And just wait for those results.
Whenever I talked to my Mom during all of this, I could hear the worry in her voice. She wanted to take it all away, to fix it, to protect me like she always has. One day, I told her “Mom, this isn’t breaking me, this is making me STRONGER. It’s building me. I am going to come out of this a stronger version of myself.”
I truly believe that. As painful as this journey has been, it’s also shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. It’s carved out deeper empathy and compassion, more patience, a stronger faith, more positivity, and a fierce will to keep going.
THE NEWS I NEEDED TO HEAR
The MRI results came in.
NO metastasis. NO lymph node activity.
I sobbed. Anyone who’s walked through cancer knows that moment—the moment you find out whether it’s spread or not. I could finally take a breath.
The tumor was “abut” to my pancreas, but hadn’t invaded it. I was grateful. So incredibly grateful. The radiologist declared both cysts — on the liver and pancreas — as benign.
GOOD NEWS BEFORE SURGERY
Just two days before kidney surgery, I got my thyroid biopsy results. My doctor—knowing how anxious I was—walked into the room and immediately said, “The results are benign!”
He immediately handed me a box of tissues. I felt so much relief in my heart. One more hurdle cleared.
Now I just needed to fight the one battle ahead of me — kidney cancer (clear cell renal cell carcinoma). And let me tell you—if there’s one thing about me, it’s that I will fight. I needed to know what I was facing so I could climb that mountain with everything I had.
SURGERY DAY
I was scheduled for a partial or radical nephrectomy—removal of part or all of my right kidney. They wouldn’t know until they got in. I had prepared myself to say goodbye to a kidney.
Hearing other people’s stories of surviving and thriving with just one kidney gave me so much strength. Thank you to everyone who shared — it helped so much.
Prepping for surgery was a marathon of fasting and cleansing. I didn’t eat for days. But I was ready.
When I woke up, I heard the best news — they were able to remove the cancerous mass, and the tissues, and save part of my kidney. The margins were clear. I will find out more when we get the pathology report back and I see my surgeon this week but it sounds like they feel confident that they were able to remove the cancer.
Best-case scenario. SO GRATEFUL!
*UPDATE: I decided to check my portal to see if the pathology report was back and sure enough, it was in my portal. I was officially diagnosed with CLEAR CELL RENAL CELL CARCINOMA, and a suspicious lymph node came back clear as well as the tissues. It is a MIRACLE that I found it!
After visiting with my surgeon, he wants to watch the cyst on my pancreas to make sure that it doesn’t grow. He is being thorough and cautious — so I’ll be getting MRI scans (and chest x-rays) every 3 months to make sure the cyst on my pancreas doesn’t get larger or change, and to also keep a close watch on my remaining kidney. I have upcoming appointments with my oncologist and gastroenterologist, and will know the next plan of action. We will keep praying for good news on the pancreas!
THE UNEXPECTED TURN
But recovery didn’t go as planned.
I couldn’t stop vomiting. No food, no water, no end in sight. My intestines had shut down completely—intestinal paralysis (ileus). They were worried something twisted during surgery and prepped for more imaging.
The x-ray results came in and thankfully, no surgical complications were found. But my system was still shut down.
Every day, we tried something new. Nothing worked. And then…
The prayers started pouring in.
I posted on Instagram about my extended stay, and the love that came back was overwhelming. I started to improve. Slowly, finally, I turned a corner. For the first time in five days, I was allowed food again. And then… I was sent home.
COMING HOME
Coming home was emotional. I had made it through.
I tried to be brave and positive throughout this whole thing. But those quiet nights, alone in bed? That’s when the fear crept in. That’s when your words, your kindness, your prayers carried me.
Thank you. Thank you for being there. It taught me the power of showing up. Even the smallest act—a text, dropping by, a prayer—matters more than you know.
STILL HERE
I’m still processing all of this. Cancer is a word that stops your heart. But if my story inspires even one person to get checked early or to trust their intuition, then it’s served a purpose.
I’ll slowly start posting on Modern Honey again. I have a backlog of recipes ready to go. I love what I do and can’t wait to get back into the kitchen and start cooking again. I have missed it so much.
But for now, I’m recovering in bed, heart full of love and gratitude—for life and for more time. I’m more determined than ever to live with intention, love ridiculously hard, and never take another day for granted.
Questions? Comments? Shoot me a comment down below. Oh, and here are just some of the wonderful things my friends and family did for me. I didn’t take photos of all of the meals but I did capture the flowers. I will forever be grateful for the love and support!
If you want to do a MRI scan, I went through a company called Prenuvo. There are locations throughout the United States but they aren’t everywhere. I used this link to get $300 off. I wish you all the very best!
Lots of love,
Melissa
Hi, Melissa! Glad you are doing well. I just had my right kidney removed 2 weeks ago because of an aggressive cancer that attacked my ureter. I also have been dealing with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (in remission since 2007) for over 30 years, and I have a blood cancer. I am 81 so don’t give up and stay positive but know your body. I’m so sorry you had to go through all those scary times but it will get better. You are added to my prayers. You are so talented
Congratulations on your successful surgery and retaining part of your extra kidney! I live in Phoenix and follow you because one of my attorneys (I work in a law firm) does and we trade recipes and baking suggestions. He brought in the lemon bars today and they are so good, I came immediately to your website to get the recipe. Then I saw your post. I was drawn to it because I have a congenital kidney disease (polycystic kidney disease, PKD) and my mother lived for over 30 years with a kidney transplant from a stranger. It is so scary, though, to think of all of the possibilities. I am luckily asymptomatic but still worry. And my brother and many other of my relatives have struggled and died with the disease. But, you shall overcome! Best of luck and thank you for sharing, it it helps one person become aware, it will be worth it. Hugs!
I just learned about your journey recently. I am so sorry, Melissa. will include you in my prayers. I believe in its power.
Oh, my, Melissa, I had no idea! Thanks for sharing your story. I am so glad to hear that your got good results and powered through the surgery and setbacks. Rest well. We will be here when you are ready to post again.
OmGosh, I was taken aback as I read your story. I met you at Paul & Jill Fulton’s book Launch October of 2023, and was so impressed, that I started following you on Modern Honey. I have enjoyed so many of your recipes. Your story is very touching, and what a journey you have been on. So grateful for you, that you’ll still be the light in so many of your followers lives
May you be blessed and heal 110%. Prayers are answered, and I’ll be keeping you in mine for sure, as you continue your health journey. May all your family be blessed, as they continue to support you in this.
You’re certainly an inspiration to so many. May you be blessed <3
Thank you for sharing not only your amazing recipes but your journey with us. sending prayers for you! I was headed to New York a couple of weeks ago and asked a friend for food recommendations. She told me to try the Levain bakery. I remembered you talking about those cookies in several posts and knew I wanted to try them. Can I say I love your recipes even more?!?! 🫶 you are awesome and you’re got this! All the best to you!!
Melissa, I am so sorry to hear this devastating news. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring others to listen to our bodies, especially busy Moms. I am so glad to hear that you have this incredible village to take care of you during your recovery and that the cancer thankfully didn’t metastasize. Your positive attitude and gratitude is so inspirational. Wishing you an easy recovery with no more bumps in the road. I am a huge fan of yours and make your recipes multiple times a week. I look forward to new recipes when you are feeling well but will continue making the treasure trove of amazing recipes until then. Sending you love from New Jersey.
Priscilla… SA.
Mellisa.
You are a strong beautiful woman. Keep a positive mindset. Remember there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. You can do this, whatever it takes positively.
Please try Lifewave X39 for faster healing. It’s a stem cell, non invasive treatment, in the form of a patch. It heals and regenerates your own cells. Lotsa luv ❤️. Get well soon.
Mellisa. I am from South Africa.Your recipes that you email on Modern Honey is awesome and incredibly delicious.
Remember there’s always bumps on the road, but keep on being positive and you can go through these bumps smoothly. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Please try the X39 and Aeon patches. These patches renew your own cells and over time it will heal you. Stem cell patches. Lots of love❤️. You are amazing, beautiful woman. Remember keep positive mindset. Fight it you will get there.